“If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
I was 15, the 1st time I heard those words.
My friends and I recited this mantra whenever we felt heartache or rejection.
At 15, this was a daily occurrence.
We lived by those words, so we could let go and move on.
Simple for some. Not for all.
For many of us, it’s hard enough to let go of faded jeans, an old tee shirt, an argument or a remote control.
But, a relationship, well ~ GAME ON!
So, why do we hold on to relationships that no longer work, that no longer make us happy, that no longer honor us?
Well, according to Psychology Today, “there are many whys: attachment & detachment disorder, emotional & physical abuse, childhood issues, PTSD, OCD, & trauma bonding.”
People spend hours, days, months, years seeking the “WHY”.
Why do we do what we do? Why do they do what they do? Why do we stay? Why don’t they love me anymore?
But, in the end, does knowing why matter? Does understanding why change anything?
Not really. Regardless of the answers, letting go of relationships are painful.
It can feel like something is wrong with us; somehow we failed or we’re just not good enough.
And, we hold on.
Ah, but here is where it get’s very interesting. Are you listening?
If you stop holding on, if you stop trying to control the uncontrollable, if you accept what is and what you cannot change; you are letting go.
For you see, the hardest part of letting go is holding on.
So, let me ask you, Do you want to let go or be dragged?
“Letting go is hard, holding on is even harder.”